From 0 To Million Dollars

I had a really good friend of mine I  went to lunch and he said I don’t know  who this guy is here  in front of me and he goes let me ask  you a question honestly right now what  are you grateful for and at the lunch I  said nothing brother there’s nothing  good in my life right now as I’m  mouthing these words two people walked  in with an older man both of them  clearly were fighting cancer somehow  both had lost their hair one of the  ladies had a bonnet on and they were  barely moving in both walked by our  table and gave me the most warm greeting  the warmest smile as a stranger and he  goes that’s pretty freaking pathetic you  can’t find anything in your life to be  grateful for right now there’s this  thing people think that like I’ll be  happy when once I get like this big  amazing home or once I get this car or  once I get this relationship or an  amount of money then I’ll allow myself  some happiness the problem is the finish  line always moves you never arrive there  right the other part is people think  well if I enjoy myself now I’m gonna  lose my drive in other words if I can  just wire myself with enough pain all  the time I won’t lose my driver ambition  the truth is there’s no correlation  between the two at all there’s no  relationship between you feeling  complete pain all the time and losing  drive and so I talked about living in a  state of blissful dissatisfaction and  really the best example of that would be  like if you’ve ever I love a good meal  right you know if I bought into a great  piece of steak if you’re a steak eater  like I am you take that first bite it’s  like complete bliss  right there’s no correlation between how  great that tasted and your lack of  desire for the next bite in fact that  bliss causes you to want more of it and  so the more we can been to a reward  ourselves with bliss we’re not gonna  lose our dissatisfaction we’re not gonna  we’re not gonna lose that and so for me  our brains  there’s dopamine hit you get when you do  something successful if you constantly  cheat yourself out of that it right  biomechanically in your body less and  less in the future where you want to  achieve the next level the next dream  the next step and that’s why so many  people stall out in life  we build habits rituals and disciplines  that serve us okay  the reason my standards are set so high  is because I don’t want to leave it up  to my own devices my standard is one  more minute on the treadmill my standard  is one more person I can reach that day  one more phone call one more something  and so for me I raise them every single  year but the way I get to do it as I  link it to my reasons and so goals are  really empty to me you show me something  with compelling emotional gigantic  reasons I’ll show you someone who’s  changing their standards all day long so  like give you one quick version that you  not heard before one of the reasons I’m  relatively fit is not just peak State I  have an uncle in my family that died at  50 years old of a heart attacks my  godfather my dad’s only brother I kind  of resembled him and I look like him a  lot  so on the way back from his funeral my  reticular activating art attacks on the  TV screen on the airplane I’m listening  to music is the Oprah Winfrey Show she’s  going through a new heart scan I’ve  unplugged my headphones plug into the  airplane one there’s some of this new  scan at cedars-sinai that at that time  was new it could read the plaques and  your arteries the calcifications without  doing you know really invasively I  scheduled it I went in I had a  world-class doctor who understood  reasons and levers instead of just  prescribing ku but will me coach people  you need to do this you need to do this  that doctors do it take this pill take  this  he understood leverage and reasons and  I’m in the law when I walk in I sit down  the doctor comes up and he says oh my I  can’t believe these arteries are in that  young body got my attention we walked  back in we sit down he could still go  you need Crestor eat clean get out of  here is know what an average doctor does  right no wired me with huge reasons he  goes let me ask you a question I heard  your wife’s pregnant you have it I said  yeah I have a son and he says do you  want to be there when he graduates from  high school to be there for that day I  said yes sir  yeah he goes your wife’s pregnant what  do you have it I said a daughter would  you like to walk her down the aisle on  her wedding day are you okay that it’s  some other man  I went what’s on this scan right like  and he goes I want to be very clear with  you if you keep going down the road  you’re going there’ll be some other man  with your son at graduation high school  and a strangers walking your daughter  down the aisle that’s not even born yet  on her wedding day but if you do exactly  what I tell you to do you’ll be there  and so to this day brother there are  mornings when I wake up not every  morning I don’t want to go to the gym I  go Bella’s wedding Bella’s wedding  Bella’s wedding so my standards are high  because of my big old reasons other  dudes may miss the gym that day cuz  they’re not gonna miss their daughter’s  wedding if they don’t go but I’ve  convinced myself on this my daughter’s  wedding so I will get my ass out of bed  at 4 o’clock in the morning and I will  get to that gym because my reasons are  bigger so my standards are higher so  that’s what I think causes us to have  great standards as huge reasons and I  think anytime you meet somebody like  yourself or myself we might now appear  self-confident because I really had to  find tools and resources because I was  so insecure and shy and introverted so I  had to find techniques and resources to  build that up in me and for me it’s very  simple it’s the promises that I keep to  myself if I have a habit over and over  again to stack one on top of the other  of keeping promises I make to me not  other people in other words the minute  you begin to get external in your life  worrying about what other people think  about you right you vote you’ve lost all  control you and it never fills you up  and people’s admiration people’s  gratitude towards you will never fill  you up it’s your own it’s your own  inside and so for me self-confidence  comes from keeping the promises I make  to myself and the other part of it is  being aware I’m doing it in other words  most people don’t give themselves enough  credit all the time they’re very aware  of these 20 percent things and not aware  of the 80 right and that’s why the  dosage is so important – you’ve nailed  it it should be 80/20 right because  people get addicted to this I’m not good  at this people don’t like this about me  I don’t feel good instead of focusing on  the 80 and stacking up wow I did eat  what I said I was going to today I did  get up when I said I was going to I made  the amount of phone calls I treated  people in such a way I promise  it’s not just doing those things it’s  rewarding it’s being aware of it and  stacking that up and all of a sudden  because that’s the messaging I was  giving myself all of a sudden all these  things start to come into my awareness  that I’m grateful for I start to  magnetized to myself some people that I  needed to find into my life and that was  the next layer I started to see things  to be grateful for my health my fitness  people who loved me and what it is it  changed my state when I stacked  gratitude I changed what I did in the  morning and I changed what I did in the  evening and so somehow by grabbing  control of my morning and by grabbing  control of my evening I got some measure  of control over the middle of my day I  was an out of control person back in  those days meaning this I woke up  worried stressed fearful and I  immediately start thinking about a bill  I had to pay something that was wrong  and I’m in a state of reaction to begin  every sound talking within six minutes  of waking up  so identity is the governor on our lives  it’s the invisible force that no one  understands and once they do understand  and get a hold that their life can  change so not only if you don’t get a  hold of this well these outward  conditions of your life keep being  exactly the same but it’s you could  behave differently could do all the work  not you could be thinking great thoughts  but you are going to get out of your  life you’re gonna be the most powerful  force in the world I think is to be  consistent with the concepts ideas and  worth that you hold for yourself you  will get that out of your life what you  will tolerate okay the deeper part of  that is identity and so identity is very  much like a thermostat sitting on a wall  right this is important once that  temperature is set at a certain degree  everything in the world externally can  hit it and you will find a way to get  that temperature so even in this house  let’s say it’s set at 80 degrees if we  opened up all the doors and cold air  just the worst things in life the  blizzard or of life came in the  thermostat will kick the heater on and  it will regulate this room back to 80  degrees the reverse is also true it’s a  super hot day great things are happening  in your life it’s getting hotter and  hotter and hotter if you’re at 80  degrees that internal thermostat will  find a way over a window of time to cool  your life right back down to 80 degrees  again so the key the secret key is to be  able to shift that identity 90 120  average becomes sort of like this slow  asphyxiation it’s almost like an  anesthetic and that overtime would  become kind of immune and dulled to the  average that we’re becoming I know this  is true at least for me you probably  experienced it yourself too  you’re gonna get out of your life what  you’ll accept that’s really difficult  for people I think to understand is look  what you think you’re worth and what  you’re gonna tolerate is absolutely what  you’re gonna bring into your life and  what the outward part of your life is  gonna look like and so I live by that  like I let myself sort of feel the pain  and the difficulty of being not where I  want to be in whatever that areas were  those would be my spirituality my  relationships my money I let myself feel  that paint because as you know there’s  two motivators right there’s the gaining  of pleasure right wanting to go get  something chasing the dream but then  there’s the avoidance of pain and for a  lot of champions that’s a pretty big  driving force for them and so at least  for me I I leveraged both of those  things on me to get myself to take  action so that’s what that means to me    


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